Junk Writing

Today is just a  typical Wednesday. It's been ages since my very last post. obviously. I don't have any specific topics or titles or whatever you want to call it to be added in my entry list. This is just a piece of junk writing.

Hey, it's new year! Yeah like it is almost the end of January. lol.

Most people I suppose must have a list of new year resolutions, like ya I must achieve this and this before 11:59 midnite, 31/12/2015 and here I am, like ya, whatever~

I don't have any list for things to be done or achieved in 2015 but I certainly want to do better than last year. That's the spirit girl~ Anyway, what's your new year resolution? Might be to late to ask.

Okay. So, just want to update few things.

• January will over soon, so does my contract, which means, I am gonna be an unemployed graduate sooooon *applause*
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• and my mother, she's doing really really great regardless her traumatic 1 month experience in hospital. Thank God for everything. She has gained her memory back, she has gained few kilos (I didn't really measure how much she weight) but she looks healthier than before. I love you mom. Looking at other aneurysm survivors out there, I could't be any grateful.

• Regarding my study, it didn't seem look good. Me and research are two incompatible couple like I have to ditch it and be in a relationship with coursework instead. Will graduate longer than I thought, but at least I know what I want and the planning is there.  

I guess that's all for now. Hopefully I will have 'time' to throw another entry in here anytime soon.

How To Deal With Difficult People

We have all met people who are so prickly and difficult to deal with. This entry goes to my ex-boyfriend.

So, it's been 2 months since I broke up with my ex. I have moved on and he's still have this high hope for us getting back together. My brother told me, the stage of acceptance is quite slow for men to accomplish. As a lady, I can't really tell to what extent his theory can be applied in one's life.  

As far as I can recall, I made it clear to him that we're done. I don't know which part that he doesn't understand with that phrase and think that he still can go to mi casa and act like we are still together? I'm beyond words to describe how I feel about this. He keeps on bothering me, indirectly and it is so annoying. I'm trying to be nice to not to fight back with violence because I know aggressiveness won't solve my problem anyway. But, even the nicest people have limit and they will get tired eventually. Maybe I should use different approach to make him stop from bugging me. ugh!

He really gets under my skin, bothering my life, but this time, not with annoying cheesy text messages and thousand missed calls. He has stepped up his game by using my family, friends and my hometown community. He even bought new car to impress me, but lemme tell you something EX-boyfriend, it's just a little too late for you to create different personality, to become someone that I used to wish for you to become.

The best thing that I can do now is to be ignorant. There's a saying, IGNORANCE IS BLISS. Indeed. Gotta live with this saying. You were someone to me, but now let's make it clear you are just a history. Every person we come across in our lives will teach us life lessons, with or without us knowing it. I have no regrets knowing you in my life because I know, we met for many reasons. The good ones, shall I keep them. I hope you will meet someone new who will love and cherish you, better than I did. I wish nothing but the best, for you.

Okay.

"aggressiveness won't solve any, patience I ain't got plenty, exertion should take place when one's ready"

Lesson Learnt: Sympathy is not Love

I was that kind of girl who didn't know how to say NO

I was that kind of girl who didn't know how to be firm in decision making

I was that kind of girl who was so naive

I was that kind of girl who was easily blinded with sympathy

I was that kind of girl who trust easily, cheated often

I was that kind of girl who would rather be comforted with lies than be hurt with painful truths.

But today, I'm none of these girls.

A new chapter in my life, a fresh start and a brand new me.

I'm 1989Lady.

I spent my 4 years with this one guy whom I thought would be the one who would wait for me at the end of the aisle. I was wrong. It was a bloody bad relationship that I have ever had, so far. It was all covered with layers of lies and pretentious. It was all because of me who tolerated so much that this relationship was being dragged to freaking 4 years with someone who made me feel insecure with own physical appearance. I caught him cheating after few months we were officially dating. I was a naive girl back then, giving him the second chance that he didn't deserve. I could just end it since I have more than enough solid reasons to leave him at once. But I was so stupid that I thought that time would change him. I was wrong, again.

All of these red flags in our relationship: infidelity, lack in communication, false promises, potential womaniser, etc were drowned in an ocean of ignorance. I wish I was firm with my decision. I planned so many times to leave him for good, but after hearing his excuses, seeing him burst into tears, kneeling before me… I was then again, stunned and felt sorry to see him in such condition and again, I revoke my request for a break up. Stupid thing to do, I know right.

It was a drastic decision but I know, it has to be done for good. I was on a quest to claim victory for my own absolute happiness. I did it and I couldn't be any happier.

Lesson learnt. Sympathy is not love.