I was that
kind of girl who didn't know how to say NO
I was that
kind of girl who didn't know how to be firm in decision making
I was that
kind of girl who was so naive
I was that
kind of girl who was easily blinded with sympathy
I was that
kind of girl who trust easily, cheated often
I was that
kind of girl who would rather be comforted with lies than be hurt with painful
truths.
But today, I'm none of these girls.
A new chapter in my life, a fresh start and a brand new me.
I'm 1989Lady.
I spent my 4
years with this one guy whom I thought would be the one who would wait for me
at the end of the aisle. I was wrong. It was a bloody bad relationship that I
have ever had, so far. It was all covered with layers of lies and pretentious. It
was all because of me who tolerated so much that this relationship was being
dragged to freaking 4 years with someone who made me feel insecure with own physical appearance. I caught him cheating after few months we were
officially dating. I was a naive girl back then, giving him the second chance
that he didn't deserve. I could just end it since I have more than enough solid
reasons to leave him at once. But I was so stupid that I thought that time
would change him. I was wrong, again.
All of these
red flags in our relationship: infidelity, lack in communication, false promises, potential womaniser, etc were drowned in an ocean of ignorance. I wish I was
firm with my decision. I planned so many times to leave him for good, but after
hearing his excuses, seeing him burst into tears, kneeling before me… I was
then again, stunned and felt sorry to see him in such condition and again, I
revoke my request for a break up. Stupid thing to do, I know right.
It was a
drastic decision but I know, it has to be done for good. I was on a quest to
claim victory for my own absolute happiness. I did it and I couldn't be any happier.
Lesson
learnt. Sympathy is not love.
